Month: March 2013

  • 一代宗師

    我心裡有過你,不怕說出來,喜歡一個人不犯法,但也只能到喜歡為止

     

    「人能拍出比他更高的武俠美學,電影武打讓我著迷,
    讓我深陷
    《一代宗師》不可自拔的,
    卻依然是王家衛式的風花雪月與浪漫情懷。
    《一代宗師》提到武學之道三境界:見自己,見眾生、見天地。
    我想萬物道理皆然,我在《一代宗師》裡重新看見自己,
    卻讓王家衛帶著我看過一回天地。」
    -http://josephshih.pixnet.net/blog/post/94882766-王家衛的俠與情%E3%80%80《一代宗師》

     

    今天和abby debbie jason 去吃 新撰組 的拉麵~
    之後和debbie去puente hills shop around
    然後就去了jason家看電影 <一代宗師>

    一開始我不是那麼明白 但每個鏡頭都拍得很完美對我來說
    出拳的慢動作 主角說得很有深度的話 仍在我耳邊迴響
    尤其章子怡那師氣的功夫、深情、忍耐、決心
    跟馬三打的那一場很讓我著迷 她那淡定的反敗為勝
    宮二的師氣都是我一直很想做到的理想女人
    劇中提到的三境界:見自己,見眾生、見天地。
    恐怕我連第一個都還未做好,何況是其他。
    希望我可以成為宮二那種女人。
    從她身上我得到很多共鳴。身為一個女子,
    任誰的爸爸媽媽都想自己的女兒嫁得好。

     

    男性女生

    可能我的成長不像其他女孩,做什麼賢妻良母。
    一直都在做家中的長子的角色,
    從不明白有一個媽媽在家的感覺,
    從不明白家中的飯送的溫暖。
    爸爸總是托我要好好照顧家,
    好好照顧媽媽和妹妹在他不在的時候。
    雖然我的生活還不至於獨立,
    但我知道我的思想已經比較獨立。
    小學就開始從不依靠爸媽,
    心事總會都躲到心裡去。
    爸媽知道我對他們的孝心,
    知道我不依靠其他人去努力。

    爸媽來美國的時候,
    我們去了palm spring,
    當然是我開車而且很樂意。
    回家的時候,我已經很累很累,
    但還得頂著精神的樣子不想他們擔心。
    有一次,爸跟妹說:
    「家姐開車開了那麼久一定很累了,
    雖然她嘴上沒有說,但我知道一定很累。」
    我聽完之後,有沖動去哭,
    也覺得原來爸媽看到我很多。
    男朋友跟我父母都有說過我的事,
    男友都說你爸媽對你很放心、安心,
    而且很有信心。

    自己一個去英國的時候,
    很怕自己不懂得去,很沒信心。
    但爸爸說,怕什麼,你是我女兒,
    我有信心你做得到。
    我長那麼大也是第一次聽他這樣說。
    以前的爸爸總是要求我們做到200%完美。
    小學默書錯了都要我罰抄900次。
    以前做什麼家人都很否定我,
    所以我都對自己很沒信心。
    但聽到這一句我很開心,
    因為這是作為女兒可以做到的事,
    不想他們太擔心,幫他們承擔責任。

    希望我可以成為宮二那樣的女人 

  • #3212013

    What if I need you baby, would you try to save me?

    What if I say I love you, who would you run to?

    - What if, Ashley Tisdale 

    累到連張開口說話都覺得太麻煩

    又失眠了 睡了三小時 九點就出車送麻麻看醫生

    在車上休息一回 再送麻麻回家 又去睡兩小時

    睡完又去出車返學 又再一口氣捱餓撐到晚上十點才回家

    我不是抱怨什麼 只是想說有點累罷了

    我知道這又算什麼 只不過是我睡不好 

     

    對了交代一下,我下禮拜就去紐約了

    人生第一次去很興奮的說,

    但想起一個人帶著兩位小朋友就頭痛了-_-

    我這個太疼妹妹的姐姐還要早就安排好玩什麼

    那裡住、什麼時候訂票…一腳踢

    我真的不忍心也不放心讓他們就這樣草草決定

    而且我這個人對小朋友是疼愛但沒耐性

    希望這次的旅行要順利啊 要有美好的回憶

    本想跟朋友去的 可是他們就一句去過了就不再跟我去…

    也罷了 就好好嘗試自己去計劃旅行吧

     

    在還沒有回港我這個狀態就是忍耐

    忍耐疲倦 忍耐寂寞 忍耐自己的不快

    忍耐自己的情感 不想自己那麼脆弱

    還有一、兩個月就可以回家休息

    只要再撐多一回兒 就只要那麼一點

     

    男朋友的朋友拍拖了 說實話我真的不感興趣

    看著朋友幸福笑完之後就是淚流滿面 只會感到心痛

    換了另一個又是重新來一次 有誰會想見到朋友痛哭

    所以對於朋友拍拖的事都不聞不問就是這個原因

     

    不過想起了以前青春少女的時候 

    對著喜歡的人面紅 心跳加速 不自然

    就算是一丁點的身體接觸都會很敏感

    為了那一點兒的事情都會上心

    期待著那個人跟你開口說喜歡你

    跟那個人總是鬥鬥嘴

    有時被當作真的女孩般溫柔對待、保護

    經歷了自己確認喜歡那個人的決心

    尷尬緊張的氣氛下萌芽出一段感情

    很羨慕呢 這樣的青春 

    而且男朋友就只是問了我做不做他女朋友

    連追都沒有追過我-_- 很悲哀 裝一下也好

    還是陶醉在漫畫世界中感受好了 T_T

    或者是寄託於又深情又好笑又好男人的 姜GARY好了

     

    好了吐糟了那麼多 該去做完功課去睡 唉

  • #3182013

    幾天都沒睡好
    又想太多了…
    做什麼都覺得很累

  • Bonus facts

    1. I love watching friends playing video games, and myself playing video games, favorite game: assassin creed

    2. Hate it when there’s no immediate response (phone/ texts..) really dislike…

    3. Sometimes forget to breathe when I am stressed

    4. Love and enjoy my home being crowded, it’s really cheerful atmosphere for me

    5. NEVER know how to spell tongue / tougue?

    6. Always calculate prices before buying

    7. Love dogs and cats >_< so cute....

    8. Can watch animes/ comics/ books/ magazines/ animal TV programmes whole day

    9. Know English well than Chinese but barely read English books…

    10. My body always maintain in a low temperature … Don’t know why..

  • 50 facts of myself

    1. I could be very cranky when I am hungry and sleepy, so you better talk less or stay away lol.

    2. Sushi is the only food I can eat almost everyday.

    3. I am quite impatience in personality. I don’t really like waiting as it really wastes my time.

    4. I am a song killer. If I love a song, I can play it over and over and over and over … until I get sick of it. 

    5. I had a phobia of darkness! I can’t sleep without lights. I feel safer with lights on..

    6. I hate to deal with troublesome things..like gossips, being in the middle of fights..

    7. I love to paint and draw anything.

    8. When I have meals, I always have to force myself to eat up everything, and having my dishes being clean. 

    9. I love shaking and dancing at home when there is music playing in the background XD

    10. I love to wrap myself with blankets no matter winter or summer XD like a sushi.

    11. I love to play risky games: bungee jump, roller coastersssss, hopefully skydiving will be in my list XD

    12. my favorite color is white, I wish everything I had could be white LOL

    13. I hate it when I lose one of my pair of socks…it seems like the laundry machine just takes that sock into mysterious blackhole or whatever -_-

    14. I don’t like watching scary or horror films. 

    15. I stop drinking coke for manyyyyy years. I hate to taste them when they are warm -_-….it’s just disgusting..

    16. I feel myself more like a boy than a girl -_-… the thoughts…sometimes I don’t understand what girls thinking..

    17. I love listening to songs every time anywhere.

    18. Sometimes I can’t talk well in chinese lol…

    19. I had a hard time understanding chinese languages..don’t know how to imagine the situations of the chinese poems 

    20. I talk fast, walk fast, think fast, eat fast -_-…. I can’t stand when people walk so slow..

    21. I love sleeping more than eating..probably I think rests is more important than food..

    22. I love drinking more than eating… as I don’t really like the feeling of being too full.

    23. No matter how late it is, I still take a shower before sleep. 

    24. I don’t like to eat chinese beef balls since my childhood, it just tastes weird to me…-_-

    25. I don’t know how to cook at all.. I can easily burn food LOL

    26. I like to brush my teeth~ I get rabbit stamp for my achievement booklet for cleaning my teeth XD

    27. I could be very shy in front of those people I don’t know. 

    28. I always surprise people with my dirty thoughts with my childlike face XD

    29. I like people being straightforward and honest to me.

    30. I have a hard time of making decisions… that’s why I tend not to think too much about it -3-

    31. I love driving my baby car >3<

    32. I love to travel with friends and family to anywhere.

    33. I am really a sensitive and emotional person, so my moods can be heightened in a minute and drop the next minute..

    34. I cry easily, like watching a character in comics died… T^T

    35. I like to pay attention to technology news more than politic news…

    36. I am such a lazy person…never like to get off my bed till I am super hungry LOL

    37. I don’t like peanut butter…I think because my grandma made me peanut butter with egg…

    38. I don’t like myself to be selfish or any evil personalities..

    39. I always over-think too much and make myself worried and stress -_- all theee time….

    40. I can poo any toilets XD I don’t feel myself being limited to my home toilet

    41. I am very naughty and rebellious, doing things people don’t want me to do

    42. I don’t like people forcing me to do things, soo pushhhy

    43. I like to stuff my mouth full of foodies XD like a hamster…it’s my joyful way of eating haha

    44. I like cross accessories/pattern/clothes….it’s a unique symbol to me

    45. I love to discover new things, like new technologies, new designs, new concepts….blahhsss

    46. I love SUMMER! >3< cuz it’s my holidayssss~ playing, sleeping, farting (jk…)

    47. I am a perfectionist……-_- yea I am a virgo, always expecting myself to good and hard to myself ALWAYS

    48. This is a weird one..but I don’t like people to disturb me or make me laugh when I am crying..XD

    49. Definitely love green tea drinks/ desserts >w<

    50. Never cook a meal to ANYONE XD ( provided by bf)

  • Reply to my love

    Letter: To My Love

    To My friend My sister My love My family – Ella Chung#LoVe_ChRoNiClE_05:

    First of all~ I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE MY FEMALE LOVER FOREVER! 

    The things you wrote on my wall shocked me. 
    Your tears woke me up.
    Not that I don’t want to reply you in anyway.
    I couldn’t find a way to express it.
    No matter how hard I was trying to hide it,
    you always pick up the real me.
    For a moment after what everything happened,
    I thought I will never have the strength to stand up anymore.
    When my world broke apart, you came out and lifted me up gently.
    I love you so much all the time but I have never expected
    anyone would worry about me that much.
    No, thats why I was so shocked
    when I heard you were so upset and cried because of me. 

    I have came to england for so many years
    but I have never ever told anyone how I truly felt.
    In fact, I felt lonely and sad.
    Never actually been happy for once in here.
    I didn’t want to tell anyone to make them worry.
    That was unnecessary. It sounds really stupid but somehow
    I thought finding a partner would smooth some of the pain.
    I guess this is the reason why I look so desperate to find the right one. 

    Actually I summarised all these from last two weeks.
    I have lost my way for being me all these time.
    You woke me up. Your tears, your gentle woke me up.
    You torn my wrong concept. My world start to bright again.
    This is quit unbelievable that I am in England
    and you are all the way in LA.
    We are so far away from each other
    but you make me feel so close and warm.
    Just a simple few words, you make me realised that
    I was being loved all these time.
    For the first time, I feel like I am not alone anymore.
    My eyes had been too focus on some shits
    and missed out so many good stuffs.
    You healed me i guess.
    Jumped out of nowhere like always
    and give me this huge wake up alarm.
    But I am thankful. Really thankful!
    Thank you lord!and Thank you you!
    I can’t really imagine how life is without you!
    I love you all the time!!! 
    Now that I am awake now,
    I just want to treasure my life,
    treasure my love ones and
    treasure everything that I have missed out.
    You are always the bright light in my life. 

     

    Do you still remember this? 

     

    Bruno Mars 

    Count On Me

    If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea
    I’ll sail the world to find you
    If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see
    I’ll be the light to guide you

    Find out what we’re made of
    When we are called to help our friends in need

    You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
    I’ll be there
    And I know when I need it
    I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
    And you’ll be there
    ’cause that’s what friends are supposed to do oh yeah
    ooooooh, oooohhh yeah yeah

    ———————————————————

    @loving_venuslwt 

    After reading your entry,
    I still can’t find the right words to say.
    I still cry whenever I read it.
    probably I’m also shocked that how important 
    you think of me to you. 
    I never think of myself being important or what. 
    I just treat you as my lifetime best friend as always.
    Never a second thought of you being my best friend.
    because you are the first friend that firmly believe me.
    You allowed me to be me when I’m around you,
    because you are always honest with me.
    No matter how many fights we had,
    I still feel that I love you and truly believe in you.

    When you told me you break up with him,
    I can sense that you were depress,
    even you didn’t talk much about it. 
    As you took my advice to find anthony,
    and stay at his apartment,
    I’m glad you did this.
    Thankful anthony did treat you well.
    What I heard from him,
    is that you cried for hours 
    and being so skinny these days.
    I know you’ve been hiding these pains,
    but I am glad that you have places to 
    run out your tears. 

    You may not remember this,
    but you cried once I hugged you in MTR. 
    I remembered your face clearly,
    crying and shaking while I’m holding you.
    (actually you cried many times in front of me.)
    That is why I know how painful you would be.
    I feel so bad that I can’t be beside you. 
    You always pretend to be strong and cheerful,
    but you are so much weaker and real when you cry.

    I know I can’t be beside you.
    But I know how you feel. 
    Whatever you had felt, I always feel the same.
    The loneliness and sadness you had experienced,
    it may not be the same situation,
    but I know loneliness and sadness well. 
    I also keep them to myself and 
    not wanting people to worry. 
    I am not really happy at all 
    when I first came to LA too.
    But I don’t want to talk about it
    and make someone worry,
    it’s too unnecessary for me.

    You may not know,
    but I always pray for you.
    And I always feel the same thing you feel,
    whenever and wherever we are.
    ( I don’t know why but I always know that)
    Knowing you is like seeing myself in reflection. 
    So babe, be sure to take care of yourself. 
    I know we can do it, no matter how far we are,
    as we are always link to each other. 

     ->

    Dear Friend // Stacie Orrico

    What’s on your mind
    You don’t laugh the way you used to
    But I’ve noticed how you cry
    Dear friend I feel so helpless
    I see you sit in silence
    As you face new pain each day
    I feel there’s nothing I can do
    I know you don’t feel pretty
    Even though you are
    But it wasn’t your beauty
    That found truth in my heart

    Dear friend you are so precious
    Dear friend

    Dear friend
    I’m here for you
    I know that you don’t talk too much
    But we can share this day anew
    Dear friend
    Please don’t feel like you’re alone
    There is someone who is praying 
    Praying for your piece of mind
    Hoping joy is what you find

    I know you don’t feel weak
    Even though you are
    But it wasn’t your strength 
    That found room in my heart

    Dear friend
    You are so precious
    Dear friend

  • Maybe it’s time for me to let go of myself and started to face new things.

  • 被逼著

    從來都是逼不得已

    被逼著如何去放開一個人

    被逼著去做選擇

    被逼著去做犧牲的一個

    被逼著選一些自己本不想要的

    被逼著做不了自己

    被逼著強顏歡笑

    被逼著去配合

    被逼著去接受那冷嘲熱諷 

    被逼著去不要哭

    被逼著自己去接受根本接受不了的事

    被逼著去迎合期望

    被逼著去承受痛苦

  • just cry

    因為從有到無

    不知道為什麼 我們這麼容易就分開了 但眼淚 卻不停的往下流
    浴室裡的牙刷已經不見了 你殘留的氣味也跟著消失
    我隻是想對你說聲「我愛你」
    但你的電話卻怎麼也打不通 相框裡的照片已經不見了
    你掉落的頭髮也跟著消失 帶著空虛的心走在街上
    眼淚卻還是不停掉下 你已經不在這裡

    讓我無法呼吸 甚至不能停留
    因為你不在我身邊 我漸漸消失
    但你卻不在 卻不在 卻不在 卻不在
    你已不在這裡 讓我失去笑容
    因為你已不在 讓我漸漸崩潰
    討厭看見那樣的自己 但我沒有任何依靠

    RAP: 為何像個傻瓜 每天自甘墮落著
    沒有了你 我隻是失去陽光的花朵
    隻能訴說著所承擔的苦痛 是痛苦的
    是悲傷的 是孤獨的 然後今晚還是哭著睡著了
    討厭看見自己 喝醉時的醜態
    即使想找個人打鬧 卻是再也不可能的事
    因為你已經離開 因為你已經離開
    再沒有人能夠讓我傾訴了


    你已經不在這裡 讓我無法呼吸
    甚至不能停留 因為你不在我身邊
    我漸漸消失 但你卻不在 卻不在
    卻不在 卻不在 你已不在這裡
    讓我失去笑容 因為你已不在
    讓我漸漸崩潰 討厭看見那樣的自己
    但我沒有任何依靠

    因為你 你 你 已經不在我的身邊守候 請你 回來吧

    ----------

    請你靠著我的肩膀哭
    即使我自身都身不由己
    即使我也哭到乏力了
    即使我也在悲傷
    即使我也是被犧牲的一個
    即使我安慰不了你

    但即使我很弱小
    我會為了保護你變得強大
    因為我知道你很痛苦
    因為我知道你可以依靠我
    我的心永遠是你的歸宿
    所以要哭就和我一起哭
    不要持強不要再在我面前裝

    知道嗎?

    你給我的這首歌 我有同樣的感覺
    我都很想很想哭 很想你在我身邊
    雖然我不在你身邊
    但請你等我在你身邊前都好好活著
    好好對自己 

    恐懼本身就不可怕
    可怕的是痛苦