maybe i just expect too much of that
maybe im just too sensitive
when physical and emotional problems come together,
somehow it’s really hard to get hold of yourself.
My emotions and feelings collapsed, and all these turns into tears
I didn’t tell this to anyone beside him.
I don’t know who I can go for a talk, I don’t know what can I do about that.
I felt weak, shame of myself.
sometimes pressure just come,
you don’t know how to breathe,
you felt tiredness and wanted to run away.
I feel like I can’t eat or sleep anymore.
I don’t know who to talk to,
I don’t know what I can do except crying to vent out my pressures.
I can feel like I am killing myself everyday.
Blessing and praying for everyone I loved.
Trying not to bother them, hoping they could enjoy their lives.
Keeping all these negative emotions to myself.
And present the best mask I could put on to hide away my weakness.
Whenever i feel weak,
i just always hope that there’s someone who can save me from all these sufferings.
Embrace my fragile heart and hug me tight to prove that I am still alive.
But it just never happened.
All i can do is type out all these for myself,
and cry to myself and comfort myself that I will be fine.
I am so tired of doing all these by myself for the whole life,
lying to myself that I am fine,
lying to myself that everyone is much stronger than me,
lying to myself that I can handle it.
but i just can’t say a word or cry in front of people I loved.
it’s so painful.
After watching the play of “Pichet Klunchun and Myself“, I wrote a response not only for the homework, but as an artist of how I feel and learn from it.
Besides of learning the culture clashes between Thailand and France, I find the interesting common between both of them, with the representative of traditional Thai Khon dance choreographer and the contemporary choreographer. For example, some of the historical fact of the performance like Thai Khon dance is originated from the King of Thailand; whereas, the renowned ballet is also come from King Louis 14th in france. I find Thai Khon dance very intriguing and having a depth sense of performance, there is always a reason behind each particular movement; compared to ballet, Khon dance has a circular motion to represent the energy is in circular motion. Even though Khon dance is an amazing dance, Thai people and others find it difficult to understand without any explanation. From Jerome’s demonstration, at first I find it unexplainable, but with his ideas and explanation, I realized the meaning of contemporary art which is to be equal and relates to reality, and the usage of stage to pertain people’s own experience as an art. There’s so much more to discover in the play of “Pichet Klunchun and Myself”. Last but not least, the comedy and interesting sharing makes audience or as a viewer to have a deeper thought and realize the interesting side of performance art.
Hypothetical Art & Interview project
I was attracted to one of the commercial of an artist painting or drawing features of a person who also describe his or her features. If spatial and time is unlimited, I would really want to travel around the world, paint and draw on canvas on two sides, one is what they think they look like, another one is what I as an artist draw how she and he actually looks more beautiful than they ever thought of. To enhance the beauty and confidence of the person I drew, I would also draw the desired wishes he or she hoping themselves could have. With the illusions of what people think they look like, and the reality that they could do better and look better than they thought, hopefully in the process of discovering the true beauty of themselves, they can be more powerful and confident in what they could do and able to do.
In the interview project, we are allowed to think big and what we could do with interviews. With the attraction of one of the commercials I have seen and the responses I have read, the above plot is kind of what I think in a way I would like it to be. I’m a very contradictory person, whom understand the beauty of confidence but always lack of confidence.
以香港為例 我們歧視的不是中國人 大陸人
對中國人來說 在不同的世界 有自己的一套？
對香港人來說 在不同的世界 要有不同的自己 去尊重當地文化？
黑白的分別 白就是代表好 有知識之人
有歧視 就會有 反歧視的存在
nick vujicic 是一個inspirational speaker
文化是需要我們去發展 更多的溝通 更多的共同
we are different in a world
but we are also one in a world.
at last, we are all just humans.