Month: February 2013

  • words.about.unreachable.

    I have wondered about whether or not to post unreachable out,
    ‘cuz at first I thought it is somehow a personal thing,
    but after that, I reconsidered these feelings might be same for most people, 
    so I just decided to publish it out.

    The another important reason I wanted to address is,
    my best friend just broke up, 
    so I really wanted to support her by writing this.
    I hope she knew that we had almost the same feeling.
    I hope she understand I love her no matter wtf is going on.
    I had seen tons of scenarios like that, 
    seeing her surrounded by people that isn’t compatible with her.
    She might not see that by herself, 
    or even though she knew it she will continue to do this. 
    It’s like watching a movie,
    watching her striving to find the right one, 
    even though the right one is just beside her. 
    but things had their own way. 

    Maybe it’s just my problem, 
    lacking the experience of bfssssss…
    well maybe because i’m pretty satisfied with my relationship.
    no worries. no discomfort. being myself. being loved.
    7 years of relationship really had undergone tons of obstacles though.
    its kind of a fortune that we had almost everything same,
    and then having years to tweak and grow up together.
    Instead of finding a new one to solve those old problems,
    I would rather stuck with the old one to make things clear.
    (just like credit card…)

    I personally hate to deal with troublesome too..
    what i can say is that im just being lucky
    to find a guy to love me and in a stable relationship
    there’s some of tips that
    I might suggested for a long-term relationship:

    1. be honest to him/her
    - it isn’t easy I know but being honest is important

    2. trust each other
    - no matter what had gone wrong, try to trust before judging 

    3. being objective in a relationship
    - sometimes we are too subjective in relationship, 
    having too many emotions and lack of depth…
    - being objective could be something to calm down 
    the rush and keep the balance in a relationship.

    4. discover more of him/her
    - dont stop knowing him/her, 
    there is something you can find to discover 
    no matter how many years…
    - e.g. just find out my bf WAS a christian,
    after knowing him for 7 years. -_-

    5. contribute in a relationship
    - keep having surprises in a long run,
    doesn’t have to be every month or scheduled,
    have surprises suddenly to “spice it up”!
    - make something to cheer your partner
    - try to adapt a change your partner might want

    6. communicate often
    - 1/2 days communicate at least once,
    so that gives some spaces and still keep communication
    - say what you had in your mind, any random things

    7. solve problems together face-to-face
    - do not just leave out one side to face those problems
    - a relationship need both parties to carry responsibility
    - a face-to-face sometimes could solve some of the
    misunderstandings you might had in phone or texts

    8. have fun
    - try to be yourself in front of him/her
    - play carefree 

     

    i’m not an expert neither a good girlfriend 
    but i wanted to help on these affairs
    avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.

     

    xoxo biatches

  • Unreachable.

    Close yet far.

    No matter how close we get into,
    our hearts just can never be that close,
    Our paths will continue to live far apart.
    No matter how tired I am for the distance,
    I just can’t still give up how long we’ve walked together. 
    No matter how much tears I’ve fallen for you,
    I just can’t give up the laughters we had.
    No matter how loneliness evaded me,
    I just can’t give up the warmth you have given me.
    No matter how my heart aches,
    I just can’t give up how it was beating for you.
    No matter how many sleepless night,
    I just can’t give up the memories that I can’t erase.
    No matter how many sadness we had,
    I just can’t give up the happiness we been through. 

    Yet 

    No matter how I fix the mistakes,
    the scars still lie within the memories.
    No matter how much I pretend to be happy,
    my heart still aches to see nothing in you belongs to me.
    No matter how I am being loved by friends,
    I still feel loveless without you. 
    No matter how many times I had given up,
    I just can’t let go.
    No matter how I wanted everything to be clear,
    they just blurred out like nothing happened. 
    No matter how I always wanted to be honest to myself,
    I just kept on lying to you about being fine. 
    No matter how I put on my smile,
    I just can’t hide the tears in my eyes.
    No matter how I remind myself not to think about it,
    memories just continue to pop out. 
    No matter how I wanted to be loved,
    I can only keep telling myself I can’t be loved. 
    No matter how I have the courage to say three words eight letters,
    I don’t have the courage to let go. 
    No matter how hurt the past was,
    I still expected things will be alright in the future. 

    No matter how many no matter there is,
    things matters to me only. 

  • 揸車揸到腳好酸痛…

  • Practice makes permanence.

    I need no one to tell me I can’t do it,
    I have my actions to prove you wrong.
    There’s no need to tell me what to do,
    I have my own values and ways.
    There’s no need for me to explain to you because if you do care why bother me to explain when you can see it for yourself.
    If you didn’t care, why do I have to care what you think?
    You have to own it yourself not listening to other people’s BS.
    I just take people’s criticism as their honest way to express they are caring.
    If what they say isn’t true about yourself, don’t take it too seriously, no one knows better than yourself.
    Give respect to others is important, but not without giving respect to yourself.
    Respect yourself first, be honest to your limitations, weakness and strengths.
    And do what you want by setting up goals and managing your schedules.
    We might not be ready to face our life when it hits us, but we have to trust ourselves that we can overcome the obstacles.

    Practice more means there would be trials and errors, but most importantly, you will gain experiences too. Take those ups and downs as lessons, or a big picture of your progress.

    That’s what I have learnt from the inspirational speaker Nicolas Tse in the HKUST.

    http://youtu.be/_81VSvC7m3k

  • Song is my heartbeat sound

    When I am crazy,
    I listen to electro.

    When I feel relaxed,
    I listen to country.

    When I am melancholy,
    I listen to melodic rock.

    When I am working,
    I listen to pop.

    When I’m alone,
    I listen to rock.

    When I misses you,
    I listen to soul.

    When I feel like groovy & dancing,
    I listen to R&B.

    When I feel like to be rebellious,
    I listen to punk.

    When I like to feel warmth after crying,
    I listen to Christian pop.

  • 《敏感》-middle

    因為我們都敏感,
    才會太在乎彼此的感受。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會太在意對方說話的含意。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會看著對方臉書的一句歌詞而出神。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會為了得不到對方的短訊而不能入眠。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會因為對方約會別人而寢食不安。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會因為得到對方的偶爾溫柔而胡思亂想。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會因為沒有準時收到對方的祝福短訊而感到茫然。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會被對方最後的上線時間佔據了所有時間。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會不停更新對方的臉書頁面而不知疲倦。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會因為對方的忽冷忽熱而惶惑不已。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會為未必會發生的事情而煩惱太多。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會害怕自己的說話刺痛到對方。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會太過擔心自己的任性傷害了別人。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會不想對方因為自己而太過困擾。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會因為對方不知有沒有認真而太過認真。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會太容易被一點的小事情觸動而流淚。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會太容易因為對方的心情變遷而喜怒不定。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會太想去肯定自己與對方到底是怎樣的關係。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會一直因為不能明白對方的想法而始終執著。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會變得漸漸害怕知道對方的想法有甚麼改變。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會開始不想再去知道對方有沒有在乎過自己。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會不想再被對方的一言一行過份支配而沒有了自我。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會認為不再聯絡不再見面方可以避免再互相折磨。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會寧願封鎖對方的臉書與 whatsapp 不再往來。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會因為不想再令對方敏感而刻意表現得不在乎。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會選擇不辭而別不要回頭。
    因為我們都敏感,
    才會變成這天我們再不會交心再不會互相微笑對望 ……

    因為我們都敏感,
    才會在最初最初察覺到對方臉上那溫柔的笑臉。
    因為我們都敏感 ……

    其實,認識你之前,
    我並不是如現在般這麼敏感,
    也許你也是一樣;
    會變得敏感,會變得為對方太過在意,
    也許是因為,我們都不想失去對方,
    也許是因為 ……

    其實我們一早已預見如今這結果。

  • 新年很想快樂

    喜慶的日子本不想破壞這大好氣氛
    但是總是會有場風波阻礙
    又是另一場男友風波
    作為姐姐我想不到我可以做些什麼
    不是做不做的問題 而是做了又如何?
    媽媽的擔心 妹妹的幼稚 
    而我就做了整個家的中間人
    被父母和妹妹逼做夾心餅
    沒有選擇去不負責和承受

    我明白有時做長子就是這樣
    那種無奈地不知從何著手的感覺
    真的令人卻步而且想逃避
    本不關我事卻又要被人屈辱
    為什麼就是要不關我事也要賴到我身上?
    妹妹不聽我怎樣罵怎樣說
    我只可以無奈地等她有天會領悟到

    之前是我太擔心爸媽和妹妹在港的時候
    怕他們沒有我在又會吵架又會鬧情緒
    可是我現在明白這樣對他們來說才是好
    他們需要直接的溝通 不是我這個和事人
    溝通嗎?我又何曾不嘗試過去改變去溝通
    只是我的角色是舒媛氣氛未能說服他們
    爸媽妹都是不易聽人說話的人當然我也會

    我只是想逃離這煩囂 什麼都不想
    過著自己安穩快樂的生活

    忍受後 再忍受 忍到有這樣的耐性
    終於明白為何你會逃到我身邊
    要哭就要哭 要笑就要笑 
    要瘋就要瘋 要玩就要玩 
    要愛就要愛 要坦白就要坦白

    雖然有時家就要那麼多煩的事
    幸好還有朋友陪在我身邊
    出一出外吸一吸新鮮空氣

    可以控制的事有許多 
    但不能控制的事也同樣多
    可以做的我都會去做
    不能做的就學習忍受

    雖然我是敢於去做的人
    但我希望我有天可以敢於說出來
    有時真的不太懂得去和人溝通
    說一些有意義、深度的話

    新年總應快樂的
    所以就算自己不怎麼快樂
    都希望朋友家人都可以心想事成
    一帆風順、笑口常開

  • Kill me with your love

    Tell me who you are today
    Did you leave the best with the words you won’t say
    Different man, different heart
    Now we stand worlds and worlds apart

    Underneath the ruins that lie
    A broken rhythm keeps running through my mind
    Color it is all I see
    But I don’t bother the remains of you and me

    And I trust you to kill me with your love
    Your words mean nothing at all
    I trust you to kill me with your love
    Your words mean nothing at all

    Lives touched with lies in this room
    Vacant memories haunt me through and through
    Descending from this high
    Silence fills the void with a fire dye

    And I trust you to kill me with your love
    Your words mean nothing at all
    I trust you to kill me with your love
    Your words mean nothing at all

    -Yanni, Chloe

  • 送機

    望著爸爸的身影走進境內,

    有點明白父母擔心孩子的心情。

    媽跟我說:「你爸,每次你去美國的時候,

    總是會等到你安全過境走到境內,

    才會捨得離開。」

    我緊握著媽媽的手,

    另一隻不停地向爸爸揮手道別。

    我聽到這些話,我覺得很驚訝,

    不停地忍著淚水不讓它掉下來,

    不想看到他們擔心的臉容。

     

    目送著至親至愛的感覺,

    我沒有忘掉過,只是很久沒試過。

    每一次和家人在入閘前擁抱,

    我的眼淚我的心一時很難冷靜下來,

    身體一時軟弱,嘴裡說著平常話,

    但心在身體裡不停地翻滾,

    淚水在眼角不小心地滑下,

    裝著什麼事都沒有地把它擦下。

     

    兒時,爸爸的身影我曾經望過很多次…

    小孩的我,總是什麼話都不會說,

    面對爸爸的離開,太多太多感受都說不出。

    當爸爸跟我說byebye的時候,

    我只是呆若木雞地揮一揮手,

    拖著媽媽的手。

    但當爸爸抱起我的時候,

    我就會不停地哭,依然什麼都不說,

    抓緊爸爸的襯衫,抱著爸爸的頸。

    爸爸好不容易安慰我不要哭,

    當他離開我的時候,我更哭得更慘。

     

    小時候,爸爸很少機會在我的身邊,

    總是要到機場目送他走。

    和媽媽、妹妹等待爸爸回來,

    再和他去吃喝玩樂。

    這個寒假陪了爸爸很多,

    雖然還是很忙沒有很多機會陪我們。

    但望著爸爸的笑眼、魚尾紋,

    彎彎的微笑,我知道他很開心。

     

    他這個笑容只會對他的女兒那麼溫柔地笑,

    他的手只會為他的女兒溫柔,

    撫著我額頭我就會很易入睡,

    為我酸痛的頸部按摩舒緩痛楚,

    無論到哪都會拖著女兒的手。

    他的手是我拖過最暖最厚的手,

    因為他是最疼我、最愛我的爸爸。